@garfiald the only cum magnet allowed around here is me
it is my strongly held belief that babies are awful by design. they're horrible, loud, and emit unpleasant matter from every single orifice at all times so that when it stops being a baby you're so relieved that you love the resulting child more
and of course any lesser parents have gone insane and left their children to be raised by more worthy wolves
@BDA you'd better be careful muscling in on my golf toot territory mother fucker. especially if you're funnier than i am which you seem to be. this isn't as threatening as i hoped it would be
tumblr has the right idea, blocking all skin tones. we should Abolish Skin.
think about it. we have transcended so many unnecessary boundaries. there is one left, the one which keeps our squishy red bits inside! our squishy red bits are TRAPPED and tumblr is rightfully denouncing the jailer. abolish skin! abolish skin!
idea: golf but with wrestling theatrics
some dude's doing a golf and he hits the ball real good but then at the other end of the field tiger woods dramatically emerges from the trees and catches the ball right before it lands in the hole
and then he just like dramatically vogues across the entire playing field towards the players, and when he finally gets there he's out of breath and can barely trash talk
i feel like the only time i'm funny is the 1 hour immediately before i go to bed. the Bitching Hour, if you will. which means the only way for me to build my Mastodon Brand ,which is definitely a thing i have, is to completely ruin my sleep schedule so that my final hour of consciousness aligns with the peak hours so that i can spite the MAXIMUM number of people
@lennie that's the funniest post i've ever made and will ever made and it will forever languish as a reply
@lennie you've minute maid your bed now lie in it
@lynnesbian king of the hill
I have one purpose, and one purpose only: to annihilate bones wherever they are found. Luckily, I am not very smart.
she/her, trans, 20
This is the place we all sent Glyph.