Pinned toot

ME: what? the land of the rising sun? no, i said we were going to the land of the WRITHING sun.

YOU: [looks out the window of the airplane to witness the unfolding of reality; like creation unburdened by law, it is almost as if in its infinite disorder you can witness the relief of a world unshackled from petty rules, of creation relieved of all that would hold it back, and indeed, the sun writhes uncomfortably dimly in the sky]

YOU: aw man i wanted to see tokyo

Pinned toot

what if our natural inclination to scream when incurring grievous injuries is because screams have healing properties? has anyone tried to scream onto their own wound until it heals? try it!

Pinned toot

Popular animal "horses" is a actually a hoxe. It was developed by . in 1995

There is onl one specimen of horse, which manifests everywhere. There is only one horse. There is only

one horse, when you can see it. actually move back and forth in space to trick our eyes into believing th
ere are multiple h

Pinned toot

Who let the dogs out?

Me. I did it. I'm seeking asylum in Russia right now because the United States government had been keeping the dogs under lock and key for far too long.

The public wants dogs, needs dogs, DESERVES dogs, and the United States government was preventing YOUR access to dogs. I was the one who let the dogs out, all those years ago, and such is the US' fervent hatred of my fight for freedom that only now do I feel safe finally taking credit for what I did.

So now you know.

Pinned toot

My name is Sleve McDichael, and I am going to make my final home run.

I step out into a cornfield, lit by the stars, in full baseball regalia. I wind up my bat, determined gaze trained on the sky.

Thousands watch with bated breath, as the light streaks towards my position. I tighten my grip, and shut my eyes, and take the only swing I get.

With a loud crack, the meteorite is sent back, and I meet my end in a shower of burning splinters and molten rock... a hero, and a legendary baseball man.

pastebin.com/Nxcs5rNs

here's a dumb small piece i wrote for a character i'm working on who became a vampire and is now being manipulated by Eldritch Forces to destroy his kingdom

it's not even a really good or cool goal it's just "waste a bunch of money"

now that i have one (1) single goal it's weird to be so impatient and living in a Future Time

hey guys! juts want yoy to know that my body will be going completely wireless within now

[crumples into a pile of flaccid, useless flesh]

ME: [slaps my knees and stands up] Aahhh, welp! Time to hit the ol' dusty trail, I think.

ME: [stands in place, perfectly still for 8 hours]

ME: [slaps my knees and stands up] Aahhh, welp! Time to hit the ol' dusty trail, I think.

ME: [stands in place, perfectly still for 8 hours]

ME: Hello mister youtube i would like to a music

YOUTUBE: Okay. Music

ME: Yes. Please a song I have not heard. variety

YOUTUBE: SIAMร‰S "Mr. FEAR" [Official Animated Music Video]

ME: NO

i just heard a snippet of that "CALL 911 NOW" skrillex song and... dear sweet christ i felt some kind of nostalgia for it. man, simpler days those were

EMERGENCY NATIONAL BROADCAST ALERT BEGINS

Just be alert. Some shit be goin on. idk. Just some shady shit. idk. Keep an eye out.

EMERGENCY NATIONAL BROADCAST ALERT CONCLUDES

ME: Hello mister youtube i would like to a music

YOUTUBE: Okay. Music

ME: Yes. Please a song I have not heard. variety

YOUTUBE: SIAMร‰S "Mr. FEAR" [Official Animated Music Video]

ME: NO

[Scene: Two men sit in the back of a police van, cuffed. One looks nervously away from the other, older man.]

OLDER MAN: I said โ€œletโ€™s beat feet,โ€ not โ€œletโ€™s beat it to feet,โ€ Dave.

youre not a good writer unless you put tree octopi into your setting

true fact: lagging in a videogame is 100,000x worse than waiting longer to load. if i am not ready to fucking play the game then don't put me in the GAME, GAME

EMERGENCY NATIONAL BROADCAST ALERT BEGINS

Just be alert. Some shit be goin on. idk. Just some shady shit. idk. Keep an eye out.

EMERGENCY NATIONAL BROADCAST ALERT CONCLUDES

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Glyph's Oubliette

This is the place we all sent Glyph.