Pinned toot

ME: what? the land of the rising sun? no, i said we were going to the land of the WRITHING sun.

YOU: [looks out the window of the airplane to witness the unfolding of reality; like creation unburdened by law, it is almost as if in its infinite disorder you can witness the relief of a world unshackled from petty rules, of creation relieved of all that would hold it back, and indeed, the sun writhes uncomfortably dimly in the sky]

YOU: aw man i wanted to see tokyo

Pinned toot

what if our natural inclination to scream when incurring grievous injuries is because screams have healing properties? has anyone tried to scream onto their own wound until it heals? try it!

Pinned toot

Popular animal "horses" is a actually a hoxe. It was developed by . in 1995

There is onl one specimen of horse, which manifests everywhere. There is only one horse. There is only

one horse, when you can see it. actually move back and forth in space to trick our eyes into believing th
ere are multiple h

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Who let the dogs out?

Me. I did it. I'm seeking asylum in Russia right now because the United States government had been keeping the dogs under lock and key for far too long.

The public wants dogs, needs dogs, DESERVES dogs, and the United States government was preventing YOUR access to dogs. I was the one who let the dogs out, all those years ago, and such is the US' fervent hatred of my fight for freedom that only now do I feel safe finally taking credit for what I did.

So now you know.

Pinned toot

My name is Sleve McDichael, and I am going to make my final home run.

I step out into a cornfield, lit by the stars, in full baseball regalia. I wind up my bat, determined gaze trained on the sky.

Thousands watch with bated breath, as the light streaks towards my position. I tighten my grip, and shut my eyes, and take the only swing I get.

With a loud crack, the meteorite is sent back, and I meet my end in a shower of burning splinters and molten rock... a hero, and a legendary baseball man.

reasons to tourism in the united state of america:

1. freedom bell
2. the large apple
2. the uh, the, the bean?
3. hospital-zoos containing dying poors to be viewed for your amusement
4. the Meat
5. the big needle
5. racism
6. jesus
7. schadenfreude
8. jesus
9. racism

reasons to tourism in the united state of america:

1. freedom bell
2. the large apple
2. the uh, the, the bean?
3. hospital-zoos containing dying poors to be viewed for your amusement
4. the Meat
5. the big needle
5. racism
6. jesus
7. schadenfreude
8. jesus
9. racism

body/nail horror Show more

god im so excited to get a new computer i spent like 3 months tinkering with that build on pcpartspicker

god, some people are so sensitive. my bro stopped being my bro yesterday because i said we'd be going to the gory hole and he got really disgusted when we got there and looked into the writhing red pit. i TOLD him where we were going. what a pussy

also update on my actual life: i still have a job at motel 6 and things have been ABSOLUTELY piss lately but i've just started saving money for my new computer so there's that. might actually have that in a... couple months

a small selection of my old posts to maybe tease that i might start posting again, or maybe not, who knows or cares

yuo know, a cola can is dark. corporporation could put anything in there. but how you know is capitlism good? they dont. you open it, you trust, and you take a sip, and it is Not a sludge or bees. that is capitalism :)

my opinions are NOT my own. they are sent to me telepathically by a man i know as the Thinker. please refer all complaints to him. thanks

rumor has it that if you beat just the right rhythm into a drum constructed of human skin, in the dead hours of the night and enshrined in ritual scrawlings, you might be a fucking idiot

if you think about it the human body is just one giant, inefficient water pistol

i can jump, but only once. my leg bones will unfurl like springs and then they will never return to normal

EMERGENCY NATIONAL BROADCAST ALERT BEGINS

Just be alert. Some shit be goin on. idk. Just some shady shit. idk. Keep an eye out.

EMERGENCY NATIONAL BROADCAST ALERT CONCLUDES

Sex is the business of savages and idiots. I, the intellectual MENSA man that I am, prefer to have an exchange of ideas and thoughts, a sort of "mental sex" if you will, where I overlook your points and mostly ignore you while making you listen to me for my pleasure, much like I would if we were to have sex

ME: Hello mister youtube i would like to a music

YOUTUBE: Okay. Music

ME: Yes. Please a song I have not heard. variety

YOUTUBE: SIAMร‰S "Mr. FEAR" [Official Animated Music Video]

ME: NO

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Glyph's Oubliette

This is the place we all sent Glyph.